Anonymous Postcard: Claim Detail

Claim No.: 010220081007

The NCAA Football Issues Committee

Please make drinking legal in all university football stadiums. My town is ravaged by early morning, television-addicted, red-state, Palin-worshiping, Jack Daniels guggling SEC football fans every home game, all trying to drown themselves in booze before they go in the gates, as alcohol is prohibited during the game. If they could drink like regular NFL football fans, perhaps they would be less inclined to get obliterated so early on in the day, and in such a rush! My walk to work during these days would be tolerable, our town would not be littered with blue and red plastic cups for three days afterwards, and less people would go to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped, I believe. It's simply backwards. Allow them their Budweiser and we will all be the better for it: colleges will be richer, the people healthier, the town cleaner and more sane.

A concerned business owner in Athens, Georgia
(Go Dawgs!)

Mailed: 2008-10-16

All images copyright Tucker Nichols